Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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