Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
