Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
