He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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