that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
