I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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