Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
