They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Randomize
