the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize