Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
