I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize