i think i have two assholes
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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