Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
