Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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