dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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