So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
When are your genitals available?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
