Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
