his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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