the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
