Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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