I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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