I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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