I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
