Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
