Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
