A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
