first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
