sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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