Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
