Ambien. No doubt about it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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