Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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