It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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