You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
ttyl tear gas
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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