Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
