So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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