I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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