my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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