There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize