I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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