Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
