i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
