i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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