Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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