it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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