is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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