And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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