Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
