so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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