no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
