We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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