Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
