Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
