well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
