Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
