Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
