Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
