how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I see more hoeing in ur future
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