Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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