i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
