Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
