if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
