At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
