You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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