10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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