I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
