I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
