these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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