i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
try to milk me bitch
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