We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Im part way to drunk.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
