but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
