Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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