I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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