My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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